Chills

I swear I am going to get hypothermia, or gangrene in my feet. The weather here is unusualy cold. When you're the only person in the household who is awake, it stimulates a creepy feeling inside you. I'm being quite friendly towards myself today aren't I.Today, I put in half an hour of piano practice:) I am quite proud - I haven't been motivated for a while and I really wish I have something else to blame other than exams/stress/laziness.

Happy Birthday Dad, you truly are the best Dad that has been given to me by God. Today it was his birthday, yet being the typical "Johnny" he refuses to celebrate. This leaves me a little empty, and of course dragged down by the nasty pang of guilt. Nonetheless, I am looking forward to treating him to lunch in Sydney and buying him something nice when we get the chance. I love him deeply, he is the only one who will ever love me for who I am, despite my flaws, insecurities and from time to time; the underlying immaturity.

It's lonely here in the real world. My family have left to Thailand and they will be there for a very long time. It saddens me that even I cannot return to my own hometown. Inside, it shatters me little by little. Bit by bit. Time after time again. Would it be safe to say that I am destroying who I was by becoming someone new for every time I change or experience something different? I dream to return there someday with the biggest smile on my face, and experience the pleasure of eating various foods, visiting beautiful places and splurge over cheap things.

If I have a real world, I must have my dream world, or something other than that. A virtual sanctum, similar to that of an escape. When time gives me opportunity, I lie in my bedroom with a laptop on my lap, music travelling through my headphones to lull me into another world. The older I get, the more I realise how less sociable I am in contrast to alot of the girls who attend my high school. This is just me being me on a quiet, lonesome holiday.

Semester 1 holidays

Oh you have no idea how long I waited for this. I don't mean to be pessimistic but this year hasn't turned out quite as planned. In fact, the past couple of years has been a dramatic change for me, took me by surprise. Over the years however I have learnt to just simply deal with the difficult drama that has surpassed.

Kudos to yet another new blog, because I've given up on all my previous old ones due to lack of time and motivation to do any. :) I hope that the rest of the year goes well for all of us.